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Sunday, 20 April 2014

It's been one year.

This time last year, 20th of April 2013, I was sat at home alone. Chris was at work and I was somewhere between 10 and 12 days past ovulation. On the morning of the 20th I woke up with tired, a little nauseous and I different. On a whim, I took a pregnancy test. I peed in a cup, dipped the stick, and left it on the windowsill to develop whilst I brushed my teeth and got dressed. I'd felt like this before; I knew I was pregnant. I went back into the bathroom and picked the up stick to find two. pink. lines.

Barely there but definitely pregnant. Just in case, I did 2 more tests...

Yep, definitely pregnant!

I remember texting Chris - "you're going to be a Daddy!". We didn't get our hopes up because of my history with miscarriages, and instead I booked a very early doctor's appointment. The GP told me to take it easy and to go to the hospital at any sign of loss. 

At around 6 weeks I ended up at A&E at my district hospital with bleeding, and we thought that maybe the soon-to-be-baby in my tummy was gone. We were sent for a scan only to see a little soon-to-be-baby still there. Heart beating.

I was told to start taking aspirin immediately, as previous miscarriages were thought to be linked to my blood clotting too easily; my Mum has a history of blood clots and I get terrible migraines which is apparently indicative, too. So I started on my prescribed dose of 75mg a day and, maybe it's just coincidence, but everything seemed to be going OK. 

At 9 weeks and 3 days pregnant, I found baby's heartbeat on a doppler. I cried. 

We had our twelve week scan and baby wouldn't cooperate! We saw him stretch and kick and he wouldn't keep still enough for the sonographer to take the measurements she needed. We announced our pregnancy to everyone later that day. Our parents and my best friend already knew.

At just over 18 weeks pregnant we married.

At our 20 week scan we learnt we were having a boy! We decided his name would be William Andrew. He was going to be perfect. I knew he was definitely a daddy's boy when he stayed upside down for the entire scan!

 And then I grew and grew and grew:

Until William made an appearance on Christmas Eve 2014 (birth story and more pictures here!):

And now, he's nearly 17 weeks old!

So much has changed over the last year. I've gone from wondering how my future will be, and now I know it will be dictated and ruled by my mini monkey, in no less than a positive way. I have gone from believing I'd never be able to have children, to looking at him as he sits in his bouncer asleep right now, knowing that his tiny body came from mine. I have gone from being selfish to selfless, to putting his needs first. I no longer worry about what I don't have because I now have everything. To him, I hang the moon. I am his cuddler, feeder, personal hot water bottle. I am Mummy, now and forever. 

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